Agenda - Council - 01/25/2000 - Laserfiche WebLink

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i I I I I I I I I I I I I I The father is informed of the benefits of taking care of himself and the possibility of a win/win resolution to the situation. He is then much more likely to become a responsible person, knowing that he has hope in eventually being with his children and in attaining a positive parenting partnership with their mother. 2. To provide the services (listed above) in an ongoing supportive process available to the father until he can achieve responsible parenting at a cost he can afford. RESULTS: The ultimate gain is that the children will have both parents for financial and emotional support. This allows the children to experience extended families on both sides, and even possible stepparcnts. This enlarges their support system ,~nd provides for healthier families. We, as a c,~ ' ,~re, need less ~leper~dence on local law enforcement, and k.:s money spent in family court in resolving c mr conflicts. Dad w."...I1 not have to sper~:I 2~cars repairing the r~2ationship with his children and their mom. He is less likely to i,,ve a police record and his relationship with law enforcement can remain positive. 3~ also can get on his :eet financially bec:~use ofthe help he gets at a cost he can afl: :d. Many of'the father; who have used thc: :trices in the past ,.re now volunteering time and money ~o r.u?port those who conic ~'~ :' him. Researc;': no.cs that when there ,.4 father/child involvement, fathers rnor; ~eadily pay child r~}~port. Finall)}, the famil3. 'nodel is positive t7~. ,ac children. It is nc~v,' possible for them to believe that ther; are positive solutions ~o conflict, solutions c her than family kre~.'.>up or ongoing str,.e. That old familia'-- story, "Dad's been gone "h~ce I was three", 2..."e future, will be iir less likely. Child,..~ will experience f~st-hand a model: a w-rking, responsibI~ £~ther. Responsible J)athers create, as children grow, responsible citizens. The alten_..five is often a life ~:t welfare. It has been ~.he experience of ti~ staffofthe Reso~.::~ Center for Fathers ~ Families that, or:::e Dad becomes ,v.,are ofthe win/win process, he will acc ~.~t the needed help. '~his would be a cia:: in parenting, anger management, or relatiorships, or, when appropriate, a referral to a family therapist. '7.5,eh win/win thinking is vresent, mediation become the process of choice allowing both parties to deal with the actual realities ot the situation drawing support for both mom and dad. WHAT FATHERS WILL IGqOW THAT TI:IEY DO NOT CURRE.~{TLY KNOW: The normal 'stages of child development Age appropriate behavior for children Non-violent conflict resolution, communication and coping skills Appropriate discipline techniques : Existence of community resources Their rights and responsibilities under the law How to access the legal system in a positive way That relationship issues can be resolved in a responsible manner How to maintain positive relationships with their children' WHAT FAMILIES WILL DO THAT THEY DON'T CURRENTLY DO: · Set healthy limits for their children and themselves · Ask for help as appropriate · Communicate more etTectJvely with children and partner/spouse · Talk about feelings, fears and concerns · Increase their personal involvement with their children